My Identity

As Matt damon tried to find out his own identity in the bourne series i am in a constant fight with my ego to find out my true identity. The identity which i am referring to is not my name or some thing but what i want to conquer actually in my life. It really began when i took B.Pharm in reputed university in india.As the career options are less in pharmacy when compared to IT i decided to take an Elective course called OOPS (Object oriented programming) in my second year second semester to turn my career to the IT side.But I dropped the course as it is too early to take such an elective for a mediocre guy like me in computer programming.Then happened the twist of my career which an vertical transfer to M.Pharm. A notice was put up in the academics notice board saying that B.Pharm people of the second year can apply for the vertical transfer to M.Pharm.Initially the idea didn't interest me,but as many of my friends applied for it i also started thinking about the pros and cons of it.Finally i applied for it the day before the deadline.To my surprise i got it. I got the vertical transfer to M.Pharm.

After this i heard many positive and negative reasons behind the offering of M.Pharm vertical transfer programme in the second year for the first time ever in my university.After this every thing changed.My interests towards IT started to diminish gradually and my pharmacy interests started evolving.It was my 3rd year and i must definitely take an lab oriented project as per the curriculum.So here comes the other twist.I went to faculty of pharmaceutics (A division of pharmacy) for projects and they all said the project slots are filled up. So at that point i went for the medicinal chemistry (A division of pharmacy) faculty for projects and they offered me projects.

Later i came to know that the career options in medicinal chemistry is even less when compared to pharmaceutics.Even knowing this i developed interests in medicinal chemistry throughout my M.Pharm and did all my projects, elective courses and thesis in medicinal chemistry. This is the phase where i started to hate pharmaceutics may be because of the faculty or the subject itself. In the last year of my M.Pharm i decided to do my PhD in medicinal chemistry from United states of America.

Now came the time for campus interviews and i had very few pharma companies to attend for interviews.All my friends made very good jobs in many IT firms, BPO, KPO & other pharma companies. I made a job in an decent company whose name i have never heard of and that too in product development division which is pharmaceutics. Can you believe it i was placed the field which i hate the most. I had no other options left because i was rejected in other interviews as well. Most of my Friends had at least two jobs in their hand.Then comes my external project which is called practice school in my university. Seeing the huge money (20K) as stipend i opted for the project in the field that i hate the most in an reputed firm.This is first time in history of pharmacy in BITS pilani Pharmites were offered 20K as stipend.At last i did my practice school project in the field that i hate the most.

After my project for six months i went out to join the firm in which i was placed. On the first day i requested them to place me in another department other than pharmaceutics and they considered my request and placed me in an department called regulatory affairs.MY hearty thanks to my company.The next episode is trying for the PhD which is for the duration of 5 years (a significant period of my life) in medicinal chemistry.Recently i found out from my seniors that even after i do my PhD in medicinal chemistry in a decent university in US i have no guarantee to find a job in my field of interest which is drug discovery.

Even then some invisible force is pushing me to do my PhD in the field of my interest. During my campus interviews a CEO of an company asked me what i want to do exactly in my life, I simply answered him saying that i want to be in the driving force for the development of at least three new drugs.This is the impact that the medicinal chemistry has created on me.I don't know my future plans if i don't get an PhD admission.I am still thriving to fight my ego to establish my true identity. This fight will continue throughout my life time until my satisfaction ends it.